Self-Care: It’s Not Always “Treat Yo Self”
In today’s world of stress, with work, kids, school, and that dash of COVID, self-care is more a requirement than just a suggestion if anyone wants a more balanced, healthy lifestyle (or just to feel less like losing their mind). These days, ‘self-care’ is more of a catchphrase, often referring to a “Treat Yo Self” mentality, geared toward massages, shopping sprees, making time to read books, buying coveted electronic devices to make life better, or getting that tasty latte that you so deserve before a hard day of work (and by work, I mean doing the 9-5 remotely or at the office, or raising children at home/keeping house, because both are work). But when you think about it, self-care is both doing nice things for yourself, like the above, and simply taking care of yourself and getting through the day. And with so much stress, anxiety, and depression flaring up these days, I can’t emphasize enough how important both are. So important that therapists make it a point to do it, too :P
To me, there are at least two kinds of self-care: the self-care that you look forward to that is fun and enjoyable, and the self-care that involves maintaining yourself to function adequately in life (or, for some, one day at a time). The first type is self-explanatory, as this kind is preached most often and is used to market things to us. The second type probably is less considered because it is expected of us to engage in it automatically as functioning human beings. It includes having a healthy sleep schedule (getting enough sleep), eating several times per day (and eating healthfully), finding ways to engage in movement (whether through some type of formal or informal exercise or stretching), taking a shower (even if it’s every other day), taking breaks throughout the day to recharge, taking care of your mental health, scheduling routine body maintenance (i.e. physical, dental, etc.), etc. Sounds like a no-brainer, right?
During the pandemic, self-care seemed to go in many different directions. Sleep schedules were jacked-up because people were either sleeping in due to working from home or being out of work for a bit, or losing sleep spending extra time trying to figure out how to school kids virtually (this is directed at both parents and teachers) or watching TV into the wee hours of the night. People were talking about gaining the ‘COVID-19 pounds’ because of all the snacking that was being done. People used the time they would have been either working, hanging out with friends or family, or out doing their normal self-care activities to binge-watch shows (thank God for Tiger King keeping everyone entertained). Some used the extra time “stuck” with their families as a chance to bring back family dinners, game nights, and movie nights. Some used the extra time to pick up an exercise habit, and others took their dogs for so many walks that dogs begged to their parents to please just sit down and watch some Netflix.
I spent the first few months of the pandemic encouraging both types of self-care. I encouraged people to treat themselves to a few puzzles, craft supplies, books, etc. (keeping in mind what people could afford) so as to help them cope with everything that was going on in the world, and help replace some other self-care activities that weren’t available. I also helped people create routines, figure out different ways to exercise, and find other things to do with their time than eat snacks and binge Netflix. Due to the symptoms of depression from being cooped up that were exhibited by some of my people, some were encouraged to stop wearing their pajamas all the time and to actually getting dressed so they could trick their brains into feeling like they were going somewhere; others were encouraged to create a clear, physical boundary between work and home by only working in one room/space in their house, dressing up for work/changing after, or going for a walk after work so that they could “come home.” Self-care became establishing routines and dressing up for family/friend zoom call (or a therapy session), complete with makeup, because no one was going anywhere and this was an opportunity to do something ‘normal’ and ‘different.
Outside of the pandemic, self-care is equally important, but of course more things may be available to engage in.
Self-care also means setting boundaries with yourself and others. Not watching ‘one more episode’ of that TV show because you are exhausted or know you need to get up for work, blocking that toxic person’s phone number, and telling your boss that you simply cannot take on another project (or part of a project) at work are all boundaries, and all self-care. All are taking into account things you need for your mental health and by enforcing the boundaries, you are taking care of yourself.
What forms of self-care do you engage in? What boundaries do you feel you need to set to increase your self-care?
